the oasis for men who cry

Bogota —

Popular belief suggests that men should hide their feelings and avoid crying, in part because otherwise they are frequently criticized due to sexist and cultural concepts that have predominated in our region.

In Colombia, a South American country that does not escape the trend, some initiatives try to change this paradigm through proposals aimed at strengthening the mental health of the male population.

There are many examples that these sexist behaviors lead men to make their emotional problems less visible. This was the case of Miguel Gómez, who remembers his dark days during an episode of depression.

“I didn't want to live anymore,” Gómez explained to the Voice of America.

He is part of the 66.3% of Colombians who, according to the Ministry of Health, have faced some type of mental health problem in their lives. Although it is women who tend to seek help more frequently, the popular belief that “men do not cry” has led men to not step forward when seeking relief from the feelings that overwhelm them. .

Figures from the Violence Observatory of the National Institute of Legal Medicine reveal a significant disparity in suicide victims, with 2,254 men and 598 women, during 2022.

With this data and a large number of users who, like Gómez, dare to tell their story, he was born four years ago in Bogotá the 'Calm Line' to provide emotional and psychosocial guidance to men and fight sexism.

It is a telephone line that offers free attention and emerged as a communication channel for all men over 18 years of age in Bogotá who want to have a space to communicate, be heard and receive professional guidance.

“A call can change a life, talking about how we feel can truly transform the way we relate to our partners, our families and in general about how we are receiving the difficulties or challenges that arise in our lives.” “, he said to the VOALuis Felipe Calero, Undersecretary of Citizen Culture of Bogotá.

Since its emergence, more than 19,000 men have found psychological guidance with the professionals of the 'Calm Line' and 3,500 psychoeducational processes have been successfully achieved. A pioneering initiative in Bogotá, which has extended its model to cities such as Ibagué and Barrancabermeja.

To offer more personalized, effective and articulated attention, this service requests the user's name and some data. The service is available whenever a person has “the need to talk to someone,” she says on her website. “The professionals who take the calls on the line will be there to listen to you.”

But the idea is not only to talk about emotions, but to know how to channel common feelings such as anger and despair. According to Forensic Medicine figures, out of every 10 cases of domestic violence, eight are carried out by men; That is, they are the main perpetrators.

The service has become popular. “And I think it is important because a lot happens to us on the line when they call us from other cities. Please listen to me, because there is a sudden emotional hotline in the department, but possibly not with that specificity aimed at men,” explained Angélica, psychologist at 'Línea Calma'.

It is not aimed at minors under 18 years of age nor is it a reporting line. Its website reports that “in the event that complaint or emergency calls are received, they will immediately be redirected to Line 123, which is the District's line for these cases.”

According to the authorities, with initiatives such as the 'Calm Line' and other mental care programs, it has been shown that more than 76% of men in Bogotá show interest in better processing their emotions, although they do not know how to do it.

“There are alternatives and those alternatives can help reduce the issue of violence that is occurring in the city of Bogotá,” said Rodrigo Osvaldo, psychologist at 'Línea Calma'.

Currently, the line has a staff of 15 professionals who provide psychological and legal advice seven days a week. But the success of the program also faces a main limitation: breaking paradigms.

“The first thing is the belief system that tells men that they do not need to talk to anyone, that they can often solve their problems alone, without talking, without talking about it,” Calero concluded.

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