from mr. udaya chiramal
The testimony of the Daughters of the Cross sisters who have cared for single mothers since 1927. Currently, their house also welcomes minors identified by the police and social services for serious forms of abuse. “We embrace life. And we help them understand that they and their children are safe here.”
Mumbai () – In the Archdiocese of Mumbai, the Feast of the Annunciation was the occasion to celebrate the Day for Life. The Diocesan Commission for Life suggested for this year the theme “Supporting mothers-to-be in difficult circumstances.” Along with the prayer intentions at all the Masses, the day was an opportunity for a moment of reflection online in which Sr. Udaya Chiramal, head of the Sta. Catalina Home of the Daughters of the Cross congregation, which has cared for single mothers in Bombay since 1927, presented her own experience. We publish her testimony below.
In recent years, Indian society has undergone great changes, taking leaps and bounds. But for women there hasn’t been much relief, either in the family or at work. They are not safe in the villages or in the cities. And some of the problems facing women and their children are beyond our own imagination.
Until the year 2000, most of the pregnant mothers who received Sta. Catalina were over 18 years of age. Most came from the lower strata of society. There were many migrant and domestic workers from rural, tribal and even urban areas. They were often afraid of the stigma attached to pregnancy. The girls were completely discouraged and uncertain about their future. Almost all of them gave up their children and went back to their jobs or their families. Those who managed to marry the same boy could take their children and start a family.
Now, however, Sta. Catalina mainly welcomes underage girls. Often they are completely torn apart: they need help at the root of their problems. Most of the time it is an unwanted pregnancy and the mother has rejected the child and even considered the possibility of an abortion. And these feelings of rejection have had a negative impact on the child.
Many girls hide their pregnancy for fear of losing their job or retaliation from family and friends. When they can no longer hide their status or when someone has already noticed their pregnancy, they come out. They seek help and shelter. They have to face their inner conflict and feelings of helplessness, guilt, fear, anxiety and uncertainty about the future make them aggressive or depressed. They need psychiatric support.
Boys almost always refuse to take responsibility for the pregnancy and very often even deny the facts. The boy’s family threatens the young woman and forces her to have an abortion to protect her child. She has no choice but to resort to the help of the institution.
Sta. Catalina assumes full responsibility for hospital admission, regular check-ups, counseling and other medical needs. Good nutrition, physical exercise, yoga and meditation help mothers to be healthier and more positive towards their children. We also offer help to deal with the current situation and a safe delivery.
If the parents are willing to take care of the baby, both the young woman and the baby go with them. In other cases, however, the girl must continue her education until she is mature and responsible.
In India many changes have taken place since the shocking case of Nirbhaya (tragic case of a girl raped and murdered in 2012 in Delhi, ndr). Since 2013, new laws have been applied within the framework of the POCSO (Protection of Children against Sexual Offenses), which has led to an increase in the number of girls under the age of 18 sheltered because they were victims of traumatic situations, also in Sta. Catalina. . They come from groups of all religions or castes. There are victims of violence and sexual abuse by their own families. There are victims of gang rapes. In this case, the police check the child’s DNA to identify the real culprit. These children receive psychological help and counseling to cope with their situation, as well as regular check-ups and other medical care: we help them understand that in this home they are safe and protected.
In some cases it happens that the girls decide to flee, since most of them are brought here against their will. In cases where the parents of the minor decide to take her home with her child, police officers and support people must study the case to prevent any improper sale of the child. During their hospital stay, girls are often advised by doctors, the Children’s Commission and the court to abort the baby early in the pregnancy. We have made our position on the matter clear to these officials: we do not allow abortions, because we promote life. We are not willing to participate in the criminal act of abortion. We have told them to respect us for these values and principles.
In the initial phase of implementation of the law, victims received relatively good compensation. Now, however, it has been reduced to a minimum, often to nothing at all. Each case presented to us is unique. This uniqueness is observed at the time of delivery of children. Sometimes the young mother is very upset and hysterical. At that time she needs more understanding and support from us.
Children given up by young mothers are given up for adoption through the CARA (Central Adoption Resource Authority) to good families. It is a very painful journey for the young mothers and also for the sisters of the home, who face such traumatic and delicate issues. But then life starts again with a ray of hope and joy for everyone.
(Pascoal Carvalho, member of the Pontifical Academy for Life, contributed)
