Avoidant and disorganized attachment: how do I know if I have them?

Attachment is a bond that is created between a person and their caregiver, which guarantees the survival of the individual. Through attachment a long-term intimate relationship is created. A clear example of attachment is the one that exists between the baby and its parentssince they are the ones who satisfy their needs, so the baby is dependent on them.

Now, in this post we will analyze what is avoidant attachment, a link totally opposite to the one mentioned above. Knowing what it means and what behaviors we have that indicate that there is an avoidant or disorganized attachment will help us recognize emotions and work on them.

What are avoidant and disorganized attachment?

Avoidant attachment is the disconnection that is characterized by avoidant behaviors and emotions or rejection of people, especially the main attachment figure. Like common attachment, this occurs in childhood, which means that the child avoids seeking emotional support from others, which is why it is difficult for him to create intimate relationships and, of course, this will have repercussions when he is older.

But, more threatening than avoidant attachment is disorganized attachment. ¿What is disorganized attachment? This occurs when the caregiver is violent, aggressive or mistreats and abuses the child. Although the role of the caregiver is to protect the child, some do not fulfill this objective, but rather, mistreat the child, generating an emotional and internal imbalance.

So, disorganized attachment is the bond due to disorganized actions of the caregiver. It must be taken into account that the baby cannot survive without the care of its parents or protectors, so it endures aggression because it cannot be alone.

Both avoidant and disorganized attachment should be treated with a professional such as a EMDR Psychologist Madrid. These specialists have a therapeutic model that desensitizes traumatic situations that lead to actions such as avoidant or disorganized attachment types. If you are looking for EMDR therapeutic treatment, you can Request a Psychologist Barrio Salamanca.

How do you know if a person has avoidant or disorganized attachment?

The types of attachment appear in childhood, arising from the actions of the caregiver. In the case of avoidant attachment, the caregiver satisfies the child’s needs, however, he is shy of her emotions, feeling nervous and insecure, which is why he prefers inattention and rejection.

Although the caregiver does not do it maliciously, they are afraid of not knowing how to calm or satisfy the child’s needs, so they do not offer emotional care. In this sense, the child he gives up his emotions to avoid being rejected. He knows very well that he cannot survive without his caregiver, so he has to be close to her, but in order not to be rejected, he will have to avoid expressing emotions, which will lead over time, that he will stop feeling them. .

A person with avoidant attachment avoids physical and emotional contact, He does not feel comfortable expressing affection, it is difficult for him to show affection to others, he even feels uncomfortable when he needs another person, so he seeks not to depend on anyone and, therefore, it is very difficult for him to trust.

On the other hand, in the case of those who have disorganized attachment, they anticipate aggression, since they have learned that this situation is always present in relationships. Although they need security, they avoid or break off all types of relationships because they live in constant danger of being attacked. Patients with disorganized attachment are unstable and unpredictable, just like their caregivers.

How to treat avoidant attachment and disorganized attachment?

The psychologist is a companion who will take you through the process of emotional healing, being able overcome and cope with negative feelings, anxiety attacks, trauma and more. According to the manifestation of the symptoms, the type of attachment and the causes of the appearance of this bond, the specialist applies the technique to face emotional difficulties.

Therapy involves emotional support, problem solving, personal development, learning skills, prevention of problems, mental health care, guidance to improve interpersonal relationships and stress management. The patient will self-discover, exploring their problems, motivations, goals and values. Thanks to this, the final objective is achieved, overcoming trauma, learning to overcome experiences and moving towards a healthier life.