73 children’s jokes to make children laugh non-stop

Jokes are not a space reserved for adults: children can also laugh a lot thanks to them and even learn to express themselves if they create their own repertoire.

Obviously you’re not going to count black humor or adult jokes to children, among other things because they may not even understand them.

However, it is recommended learn a few childish jokes to tell your children or nephews, so that they become familiar with these jokes and that later they can discover other possibilities.

The problem in these cases is usually in the adults, who don’t know too many children’s jokes because that stage of life is far behind. It is best to consult a good list to get good ideas. A clear example is that of the Jaimito jokesalthough they are not the only valid ones.

Next, the best 73 children’s jokes are shown:

73 kid jokes

With jokes for children you must be especially careful, since they must be appropriate for their age and do not hurt sensibilities.

These are the best 73 kid jokes:

joke 1

“Son, why are you bathing in blue paint?”

—Because my girlfriend lives far away and I want to be blue.

joke 2

There was a pizza crying in the cemetery. Another pizza arrives and he says:

“Was he familiar?”

“No, medium.

joke 3

Why did they kill Kung Fu?

Because the kung merged with another person.

joke 4

How many fish fit in a whale?

None, because it is full.

joke 5

—Pepe, get out of the car for a moment and tell me if the indicator on the right works.

Pepe gets off, watches and says:

“Now yes, now no.” Now yes, now no. Now yes…

joke 6

“How is an elephant different from a comb?”

-I don’t know.

—Well then, be careful, don’t go buying a comb and be fooled by an elephant.

joke 7

-May I smoke?

-Clear.

—Great: one maf one, dof. Dof maf dof, four. Tref maf tref, seif.

joke 8

I’m going on a 2 week vacation to Hawaii.

—That’s cool, so don’t forget to write.

-I hope not. With what it cost me to learn!

joke 9

Where do hamsters come from?

From Hamsterdam.

joke 10

What did one duck say to another?

—I love you for life.

joke 11

-Mother! I want to have a girlfriend.

“Why, son?”

“Because all my friends have one.”

—Very nice, what if all your friends jump off a bridge you jump too?

—No, I stay with their girlfriends.

joke 12

A game of elephants against worms is being played. There are only 15 minutes left to finish and the elephant team wins by beating 15 to 0.

At that moment, when the match already seemed doomed, suddenly the worms’ coach asks the referee for a last-minute change: the centipede comes out to play. Thanks to his infinity of little legs, and his talent on the grass, he ends up achieving the impossible and in just 15 minutes he manages to finish off the game. Worms win 20 to 15.

As they retire to the changing rooms, the elephants’ trainer approaches the worms’ trainer and asks why it took them so long to get the centipede out to play. To which the rival coach replies:

“Because he was in the locker room tying up all his boots!”

joke 13

“Jaimito, why do the apples fall from the trees?”

—Simple, teacher: because they don’t use stairs.

joke 14

What is tomato’s favorite dance?

The sauce!

joke 15

What did a calculator say to a math book?

“Don’t worry, you can count on me.

joke 16

What does one fish say to another?

-Nothing!

joke 17

Why don’t nuns wear sandals?

Because they are devotees.

joke 18

Said the captain of the ship:

“Raise the sails!”

And they left those below without light.

joke 19

A man went to a bar and asked for a glass of milk. They brought it to them. In the milk there was a fly. He called the waiter and said:

—Hey, next time serve me the milk in one glass and the fly in the other. If I want to mix them I will do it myself.

joke 20

The father dressed his daughter, but could not find the socks.

“Where does your mother usually put her socks?”

-Here! —Said the girl pointing to her feet.

joke 21

What does one spaghetti say to another?

-Hey! My body craves sauce.

joke 22

What is the taco that sleeps called?

Ta-side.

joke 23

Juan and José were walking through the field when suddenly Juan fell down a well. Desperate, José leaned into the well and shouted:

“Have you hurt yourself?”

Not yet…

joke 24

What does a dog do with a drill?

drilling.

joke 25

There were 2 cows that fought and the next day they didn’t say a word.

joke 26

—My general, we have lost the battle.

“Then look for it!”

joke 27

“How long has it been since you stole?”

—5 years, Mr. Commissioner.

—Quite a long time, and where was he all these 5 years?

-In jail.

joke 28

“Daddy, Daddy, I’ve been bitten by a snake.”

-Cobra?

—No, he bit me for free.

joke 29

One worm said to another:

“Hey, do you want to take a walk around the block?”

joke 30

I’m a healthy guy.

“Oh.” Do you eat healthy and all that?

—No, people greet me.

joke 31

“Doctor, nobody listens to me…

-Next Please!

joke 32

A telemarketer calls a customer, but is surprised when he answers a boy who must be about 4 years old.

-Is your dad here?

“No, he’s in the bar.

“And your mom?”

“Neither, he’s working.”

The seller, who wants to talk to someone grown up, gets impatient and asks:

“Is anyone else home?”

-Yes my sister.

“Great, tell him to put it on!”

There is a very long silence until the seller hears the child’s footsteps returning to the phone.

“Nothing, I can’t,” says the boy.

“You can’t what?”

“Get her out of the crib.”

joke 33

2 mosquitoes are on a motorcycle and the one behind says to the one in front:

“Hey, stop!” That a fly has gotten into my eye.

joke 34

What is the most explosive fruit?

The grenade.

joke 35

—But how beautiful you are today! Have you had your eyes painted?

No, I already had them.

joke 36

The captain said:

“Board the ship!”

And the ship was beautiful.

joke 37

At school:

—María, tell me a word that has many o’s.

“Greety, prof.”

-Brilliant. Jaimito, tell me one that has many more or.

“Gooooooooool!”

joke 38

What does a police lemon say to a suspicious lemon?

“Acid you?”

joke 39

Jaimito, give me the baby.

Wait till I cry.

Why cry?

Because I don’t know where I left it.

joke 40

Jaimito, what is a shore?

Sixty minutes, teacher.

joke 41

What does the cherry say when it looks in the mirror?

“Will it be me?”

joke 42

The dentist asks the patient:

“Do you want me to put your teeth to sleep?”

“Well, as long as they wake up before dinner…

joke 43

—Let’s see, Jaimito, what about Napoleon’s death?

“I’m very sorry, miss.”

joke 44

What is the fish that smells a lot?

The big-ass!

joke 45

What does one duck say to another while playing soccer?

– Let’s go even!

joke 46

What did a chick say to another chick?

No peep!

joke 47

Why is the broom so happy?

Because sweeping.

joke 48

What is the funniest fruit?

The orange hahaha.

joke 49

A new teacher arrives at school and says:

Good morning, my name is Largo.

And Jaimito answers:

Don’t worry, we have time.

joke 50

Jaimito asks his mother:

Is it true that bigger fish eat smaller ones?

Yes, Jaimito.

And do they also eat sardines?

Yes, Jaimito.

And how do they open the can?

joke 51

—Doctor, what can I do so that my son does not wet the bed?

“Let him sleep in the bathroom.”

joke 52

-What time is it?

-Twelve o’clock.

“How late!”

“Well, you asked me before.

joke 53

Jaimito, what is the future tense of the verb “yawn”?

Sleep.

joke 54

What is the height of a doctor?

May their daughters be called Dolores and Remedios.

joke 55

A gentleman enters a bookstore:

—Do you have books for tiredness?

-No sir. They are sold out.

joke 56

What does one flea say to another flea?

“Shall we walk or wait for the dog to come?”

joke 57

-How was the test?

I left it blank.

-Me too. Let’s see if the teacher will believe that we have copied ourselves.

joke 58

What did the moon say to the sun?

—How is it possible that being so big they still won’t let you go out at night?

joke 59

“Get me a coffee, please.”

-Only?

“Okay, give me 2.

joke 60

A telemarketer calls a customer, but is surprised when he answers a boy who must be about 4 years old.

-Is your dad here?

“No, he’s in the bar.

“And your mom?”

“Neither, he’s working.”

The seller, who wants to talk to someone grown up, gets impatient and asks:

“Is anyone else home?”

-Yes my sister.

“Great, tell him to put it on!”

There is a very long silence until the seller hears the child’s footsteps returning to the phone.

“Nothing, I can’t,” says the boy.

“You can’t what?”

“Get her out of the crib.”

joke 61

—Miss, the phone I bought you yesterday doesn’t work for me.

“Why do you say that?”

—Because I put it in airplane mode and it doesn’t fly.

joke 62

What is the height of an electrician?

May his wife be called Luz and may his children play along with him.

joke 63

“Son, why are you bathing in blue paint?”

—Because my girlfriend lives far away and I want to be blue.

joke 64

Jaimito, what are square roots used for?

To make square trees!

joke 65

Jaimito returns home and shows his mother 100 euros that he has found:

Are you sure someone has lost them?

Absolutely, mom! I have even seen the lord who was looking for them!

joke 66

—Pepe, get out of the car for a moment and tell me if the indicator on the right works.

Pepe gets off, watches and says:

“Now yes, now no.” Now yes, now no. Now yes…

joke 67

“Please, could you tell me where the street of the fish is?”

“It’s what’s coming.”

“Then I’ll wait for you.”

joke 68

What is the height of a hairdresser?

Let them tease him!

joke 69

How does a chick curse another chick?

—Warm you!

joke 70

“Mom, can I go to the movies?”

-No.

—Mom, what are you going to put for dinner today?

-Salt.

—Ok, mom, I’ll be back when the movie is over.

joke 71

Mom, today we have learned to make explosives.

Very good, Jamie. And tomorrow what will you learn at school?

what school?

joke 72

This is 2 children and one asks the other:

—How much is 2×4?

And the other answers:

—I don’t know.

The mother of one of the children appears, who has been listening to the conversation, and tells them:

—It is not said not tallow, it is said: I do not know.

And then the mother of the other children appears:

—No, no, it is not said neither I don’t know nor I don’t know.

And the children ask:

-Oh no? And how is it then?

“I don’t know,” the mother answers.

—Well, if you didn’t know, why bother?

joke 73

Kids, eat the tortilla sandwich.

And Tortilla was left without a sandwich.